Freediving & Whakapapa

It’s hard to know where to start when sharing my oceanic haerenga (journey), and it’s not been a long one by any means.

From a freediving and spearfishing perspective, my journey is still in its infancy stage. The effect that it’s had on me and the reclamation of my Māoritanga has been significant.
Reclaiming my Māoritanga has been a slow & steady wins-the-race kind of vibe. One step forward, two steps back. However, it all seemed to fall into place once I reconnected with the moana three years ago at 30. The ocean genuinely changed my world.

I grew up very much in a pakeha world. I was utterly disconnected from my iwi, hapū and marae, as many of us are. I have Albanian, Māori, English, and Scottish ancestry, quite the mix, some would say.

With this, seemingly ‘exotic’ blend comes constant internal confusion. When you feel like the white sheep in a brown world and a brown sheep in a white world, you never really fit in anywhere. Imposter syndrome is something that I deal with daily.
I went to school, then University, and ended up with a Masters in Speech and Language Therapy.

Starting employment in a hospital and District Health Board (DHB) working with adults, mainly those with progressive neurological diseases, head and neck cancer, and stroke.

Death and dying are part of my day-to-day mahi. I feel so privileged to do this kind of work and support people in their final stages of life, but it can take a real emotional toll. One that slowly creeps up and can then manifest into complete burnout.

Additionally, being the only brown “speechie” in the DHB, and one of only a few in the speech therapy world, I was often thrown into “cultural advisory” roles. I won’t get into why this was particularly difficult. I’m sure many of you can imagine the tokenism, systemic racism, and pressure that comes with this kind of mahi.

Moana

It was the moana that helped me gain balance and perspective and helped me understand who I truly was. It gave me purpose and identity. It’s where my internal dialogue would stop. It’s where all the different parts of me felt like one whole piece. We all came from the ocean and whakapapa back to the moana, so we can all feel at home there.
I didn’t grow up in a family that did any water activities or boating. I knew I loved swimming but never had the opportunity to really be with the ocean until I was an adult.
I then spent some time in Tonga with good friends and had the absolute privilege of swimming with humpback whales. This swim was a pivotal moment for me. Something changes inside of you when you lock eyes with one of these majestic creatures and feel their song permeate through your body.

Freediving

Having already completed an open water SCUBA course, I found it a too clunky and loud.
I knew freediving would be the way forward. It has all the best parts - relaxation, mindfulness, slow diaphragmatic breathing, and experiencing the underwa-ter world in that state of mind. What’s not to love? It combines the mental with the physical. It connects you to yourself and the natural world.

I joined the Auckland Freediving club, where I learned the basics of pool freediving. From there, I progressed to the moana.

I was that annoying friend who would leach onto anyone heading out for a mission. At the time, this was mainly only guy mates, who were all spearos.

Initially, I thought that spear- fishing was barbaric and that I’d never do that sort of thing. Still, I’d tag along to practise my ocean skills.

Over time I realised how selective and respectful spearfishing actually is. The time I spent in the water on just one breath connected me to myself and the taiao (environment).

Spearfishing

I decided to stop eating kai moana unless I hunted it myself, and damn, I was hungry for some ika. I can’t fish very well, so spearfishing naturally came next.
While I am not that good. I absolutely love it. I love the whole process- from planning a mission, connecting with friends, experiencing the moana together, selecting and dispatching your kai with the utmost respect, to returning home and preparing a feed to share with friends and whānau. It’s honestly my most favourite thing to do. Often I’ll come home with nothing, and that’s ok too. Those are the days you learn the most.

My most fond memories are those in the ocean. My first snapper, first kingfish, and first shark encounter, these experiences all come with the most unforgettable, epic stories with the best people.

There’s something extraordinary about the learning journey too. Being new at something is the best. I was constantly learning and growing with every dive. You don’t have to be an expert at something to be passionate about it; you just need to love it. And as I progressed, I knew I wanted to share these feelings and experiences with others.

Connecting wāhine

It quickly became apparent that spearfishing and freediving were male-dominated, and I had so many wāhine reaching out to learn or join the missions. It was also becoming clear that many people were getting into it without proper training.
Now freediving and spearfishing can be perfectly safe as long as you know what you’re doing. But without the appropriate knowledge and skills, it can be dangerous and deadly.

Many people have no access to the right gear or skills, and this is particularly true for Māori.

According to the Water Safety NZ stats, we are the most vulnerable. We are dying at sea. We are dying to get a feed. So the next stage for me was to figure out how to support my own people to have SAFE access to the moana.

Safety through training

Fast forward a few years, and my passion has turned into quite the kaupapa. I still work full time as a speech therapist, but now also have finally become a freediving instructor myself and dedicate my spare time supporting wāhine to connect to the moana safely by running freediving courses and camps through Salt Aotearoa.
Slowly but surely, I’ve connected with a few other Māori freedive instructors (Shout out to Benny and Vance), who I’m so happy to now consider my whānau.

Together we’ve been given the opportunity to develop and run the oceanic wānanga of our dreams, to connect more wāhine Māori to the moana through freediving and whakapapa. The goal is to help reduce preventable drownings amongst Māori here in Aotearoa while facilitating pathways of reconnection and reclamation to identity and self.

With the growing popularity of freediving and spearfishing, correct education must be provided before entering the water. We hope to see the number of trained Māori freedivers grow in Aotearoa and to lead by example with the mahi that we do.
If you’re thinking of getting into freediving or spearfishing, the safest and most enjoyable way is to jump on a course or join your local club!

Find yourself a mentor and be open to the learning journey.

Editor’s note

Renee Taylor is the founder of Salt Aotearoa.

Salt Aotearoa offers community, training and support for wāhine exploring the moana in a safe and respectful environment.

Visit SaltAotearoa.co.nz to learn more.

Email Kiaora@saltaotearoa.co.nz to connect.